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Old 05-11-2010, 06:27 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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I talked with Mono tonight about this a bit.

I said to him that I learned compersion by deciding, after much wallowing and really feeling them, that I was not interested in the feelings I was holding of jealousy, envy, hurt, sadness, abandonment and decided to walk right through them and see them from the other side. I decided to stand outside of them and look at situations without allowing myself to fall into all those feelings that were holding me back. Once I did that and could see clearly I saw only joy and happiness for my partner or other personal situations I was struggling with.

I believe that I create my reality and that I can shape it to suit my needs. Feeling all the negative feelings above was not serving me well and making me unable to be the best person I could be, have the best life for myself and kept me from loving myself.

Compersion comes to me rather than is a given. I have to conjure it up in extreme situations, but it does come and I know how to access it now. I think it eventually will be a free flow into it, but I spent too many years developing the part of my brain that hates me, blames others, plays the victim etc, to let that go entirely just yet. My brain is developing into compersion and more positive ways of being... not a thin veil of positive, but really positive.... this infleunce changes the world I think.
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