Poly relies on the same ideas that create any other healthy relationship. Communication and Honesty. Beyond that, there is no one person or group that has "established" the way to do poly or what the principles or rules are because to apply such concepts to a free way of loving is bullshit. There might be people who claim to have such moral authority or experience driven knowledge but they serve only as guides and examples of their poly, no one elses.
There are incredible people who devote extreme work to shedding light on non-monogamy in many forms. They should be thanked for their work and sharing. They should not be idolized or assumed to have figured it out....because that is them.
My poly is not your poly I believe is the term. And that's about as accurate as it gets.
This is a major pet peeve of mine; the constructs and "leadership" of a community that doesn't need "leadership" that acts as a parental influence. The funny thing is I am painfully monogamous in how I love intimately and yet I lose my mind when I see structure applied to the concept of poly or the communities that form. Why is that? Because I see it as laughable that some one would rant about the restrictions of one community only to willingly submit to that of another. I may be considered a sheep for some of my traditional views, but I am a self aware sheep and know full well that I am in a constructed pasture. Unfortunately some of the enlightened sheep are actually the least aware of their confinement.
So as far as rules go...they don't apply to me or "my poly". I do what I please and call it what I want and no one has any authority or ability to make me do otherwise.
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over