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Old 07-18-2009, 02:36 AM
jewelsymom's Avatar
jewelsymom jewelsymom is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Washington state
Posts: 5
Default Giving it a shot!

Hello fellow open minded, big-hearted people! New to this "polyamory" idea, as many here are, I am finding the posts and information could have easily come straight from my own thoughts. I really didn't know that I was not alone in the way I feel.

I admit that I have often felt alone and weird or different or just plain wrong! I LOVE my husband more everyday. He is a wonderful man that inspires me, challenges me, and adores me. He is my main man, without a doubt!

We've been married/together for 10 years and love each other dearly. The problem arises when my big loving heart falls in love. I have never found a way to make this acceptable. It has always been wrong in my mind. I never had the right words and it always ended up feeling like I was asking to cheat on my husband.

I've never cheated and I continue to be honest and open with my husband about my feelings. He heard the word "poly" from someone and decided I was looking for lots of sexual partners. This has been tough for us to overcome.

And now, a few months ago, I met someone that blew my mind. We became instant friends, total cosmic, star-struck connection right from the beginning. It does not diminish my love for my husband. In fact, I feel like I appreciate and see him more clearly than before. My new friend and I are hopelessly in love - and have resisted the temptation to take things further.

I love both men for similar and for different reasons. The love of each is a cherished gift. I feel like the world makes better sense now. Everyday I find new reasons to appreciate my life. It is amazing.

So, now we are at the part where my husband and I are trying to find a common ground on my new friend. Of course I want to be with him, but I really want to know him more. I want to inspire him and love him and feel the return of his love and respect for me.

It comes down to the business between the sheets, of course. I have no idea how to proceed. I want to be with my husband, but I also want to have visits and time with my friend. Time with both is so fun and rewarding. I'm taking my time and explaining things from my heart and trying to help my hubby understand my love for him is not being threatened. I'll take all the advice and help I can get to make this work.

Thank you for listening to my story.
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