Originally Posted by SanrioAddict
But in the last year and a half that we've resumed our conversations, I've come to the realization that I do still have feelings for her. I've had difficulty sleeping because of it, wondering if I should say anything and how she would react.
What bothers me is that I'm not sure how to tell my husband any of this. I feel like he would want a divorce, and I don't. We both went into this relationship eight years ago, with the idea that it would be the two of us. I never represented myself falsely. This is something I did want. Now I just happen to have feelings for two different people, and I want to act on those feelings with the second person, assuming she's interested.
Have you even discussed with him the fact that you are interested in women (not a specific woman)...or is he going to be surprised? I think opening up about those potential feelings may be a good starting point.
Yes, I'm getting a lot ahead of myself here, since I don't know what she's going to say, once she's had time to think about everything. I detest lying, and cheating is just another form of that. I'd never do that to my husband. But I love her, and I want her.
Do I wait until she says she's interested before I say anything to him? I don't see a need to make a big deal out of this if it's going nowhere. I just needed to tell her.
How do I find a therapist I can talk to that won't dismiss my feelings as me being dissatisfied with my marriage? If I wasn't happy, I wouldn't be here.
And I know this is too much to hope for, but are there any magic words to make my husband see that I'm not just being slutty?
hmmm...in my world I am open. If I find a woman attractive and find myself hanging out with her, talking to her, more interest than a simple passing, I communicate this to my wife.
Since you are asking opinions...I think you should mention your interest in women...work through that, hopefully it isn't a problem. See where the conversation takes you