Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
Perhaps not miserable... but at one point, didn't he say that he didn't really want the open marriage, he was only doing it for his wife? That feels sad to me. Like he'd rather it be closed, but he had to choose between open marriage and losing his wife. I think he said, he knew he would lose her if he didn't go along with it. Seems like a devastating decision to have to make.
My husband and I watched this episode this weekend. We don't watch House - so it was a little confusing since we didn't know the characters. We thought the dialogues about open marriage were right on - they are things we have said many times. I completely identify with both the husband and the cheating doctors wife (sorry I don't remember names.)
Here's why: up until a year ago - we were monogamous, sans one full swap with another married couple we met at a swingers club. When my husband asked permission to sleep with a co-worker - my reaction was almost exactly like the cheating doctors wife. I went back and forth - giving permission, then taking it away. It wasn't fair to them, and because I felt secure in our marriage and to make my husband happy - I finally gave the ok. A few months later - they fell in love - which was my biggest fear. Right or wrong - I am doing this for my husband - just like the husband is accepting this for his wife. My husband needs us both in his life to be happy. I want him to be happy. As Morningglory pointed out to me a few weeks ago - I am also doing this for myself: my husband is my life and I would rather learn to accept this part of his life and remain happily married, than divorce him, lose the love of my life, my best friend, and be even more miserable. It was a devastating decision to make - but losing him would be more devastating. Just like the husband - I could find a boyfriend, or girlfriend, if I wanted to. I simply choose not to at this point in time.
I was disappointed that the married doctor cheated on his wife - but this supports why I am accepting this. People lie and cheat behind their spouses backs all the time - it's pretty much accepted in our society. My husband chose not to lie or cheat. He has been nothing but open and honest about everything. To me - that is the sign of a good marriage. As I explained it to someone: I would rather my husband be open and honest with me, even though it hurts, than for him to be lying, sneaking and cheating behind my back. It's because of his honesty that I am able to trust him and why I am trying to be accepting of his having a girlfriend.
I do wish that more shows would show this kind of thing. I've never seen Big Love - what does everyone think about that show?