All respect to Maslow, but he is a scientist and not a poly theorist
haha.... I can't believe I just said that... heh...
I base needs
on more than just Maslow. he has some basic stuff down, but we are more than just animals and more than just want
to survive... if I was a street person perhaps Maslow would look like a dream, but I'm not. So I have other needs
First of all needs
to me are always positive. If they aren't, then they are not a need
but a want
and I need to look deeper to find the need
behind the want
For instance. If I were jealous of Roly spending time with Nerdist I would first look at my want
for Nerdist to pay attention to me while I whine about his lack of attention. What I need
is time with him in order to feel he loves me and appreciates me. My need
is to feel loved and appreciated... it has nothing to do with who he spends his time with. So what shall I do about it? Go and find people who love and appreciate me and/or ask him to actively show me that he loves and appreciates me (I even tell him what I want
him to do or say sometimes so that I don't set him up. It's so easy to make assumptions and have expectations that people will some how magically know what you want.... I digress....).
So, to answer you question.... the root need
you have is to actively show your love for others in any way you are able to give... you need
this in return. That is a need
. Your want is to be free to do this as YOU see fit. Sometimes this isn't possible if we are with people who are not able to be with us if we think our need
is to fuck everyone we see because we think this is how to show each other love... their need
is different than ours...
It's up to you to decide what your bigger needs
are, freedom to do what YOU want or loving others to the best of your ability without harming already established relationships that you want to continue.