View Single Post
Old 05-10-2010, 06:59 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

All respect to Maslow, but he is a scientist and not a poly theorist haha.... I can't believe I just said that... heh...

I base needs and wants on more than just Maslow. he has some basic stuff down, but we are more than just animals and more than just want or need to survive... if I was a street person perhaps Maslow would look like a dream, but I'm not. So I have other needs...

First of all needs to me are always positive. If they aren't, then they are not a need but a want and I need to look deeper to find the need behind the want.

For instance. If I were jealous of Roly spending time with Nerdist I would first look at my want for Nerdist to pay attention to me while I whine about his lack of attention. What I need is time with him in order to feel he loves me and appreciates me. My need is to feel loved and appreciated... it has nothing to do with who he spends his time with. So what shall I do about it? Go and find people who love and appreciate me and/or ask him to actively show me that he loves and appreciates me (I even tell him what I want him to do or say sometimes so that I don't set him up. It's so easy to make assumptions and have expectations that people will some how magically know what you want.... I digress....).

So, to answer you question.... the root need you have is to actively show your love for others in any way you are able to give... you need this in return. That is a need. Your want is to be free to do this as YOU see fit. Sometimes this isn't possible if we are with people who are not able to be with us if we think our need is to fuck everyone we see because we think this is how to show each other love... their need is different than ours...

It's up to you to decide what your bigger needs are, freedom to do what YOU want or loving others to the best of your ability without harming already established relationships that you want to continue.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote