As it turns out, my husband had been sleeping with her for 8 months, without informing me. I know there is a lot of talk on here about rules and no rules. We have some and one of those was no intimacy (physical) unless we are both there. So to me this was an affair. And the ex was telling the truth. Over the last few days I have found out about 4 others he slept with once or twice.
It's been a long week. We are trying to work things out. I have a lot of medical problems and he felt his needs weren't being met. Don't get it wrong, he doesn't hold my medical problems against me, but at times they are the focus of our lives and he does get ignored. It's a problem that he brought to my attention and we are working on it.
We are working on a lot. Most of this boils down to our inability to communicate.
So for the moment, he is still seeing her, nothing physical until he and I are on better ground. A relationship with her won't be healthy if we aren't.
I'm dealing. I am still interested in her, but it is a lot of trust issues to get over at the moment. They both mislead me, lied to me and only said something when I had it in writing from other people.
I appreciate the thoughts everyone has put forth for me. I have gained a lot of insight.
So that is where things stand at the moment.
I understand that given their feelings for eachother, it is rather cruel of me to say they can't see eachother. But is it wrong to ask that it only be while I'm around for awhile? At least until that trust has been regained?