View Single Post
Old 05-09-2010, 10:49 PM
saudade saudade is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 139
Default Maslow, poly, and my personal experiences

Hey, welcome. I loved reading your post-- you remind me of me. Given that context...

My answer to this question is actually grounded in social science theory:

Maslow proposed a hierarchy of human needs-- you have to meet all the lower ones to get to the ones above. I see bits of poly all through the hierarchy...

It sounds to me like the feeling you're describing is a middle-to-high need. You won't die without it, but Maslow would still call this kind of fulfillment a need.

I've never had a poly relationship. And I've really never been able to represent my love physically by even a small margin without running into some kind of issue. So? What am I missing? I've always had this feeling that I "wanted" more out of my relationships. More than just the "friends, family, and wife" standard model. And i'm pretty sure I always will. Will I eventually be consumed by that feeling? Would you? Are you?
Whenever I've been prevented from expressing how I feel for a person in the way that makes the most sense for us, I've been consumed by the feeling. I can't speak for you, of course, but I remember how much that feeling hurt me. I wound up ending a serious monogamous relationship over it, and having a poly-only policy from then on out.

What's your story?
"I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms." - Chasing Amy
Reply With Quote