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Old 05-09-2010, 07:29 PM
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rpcrazy rpcrazy is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Las Vegas
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Quote:
You didn't explicitly mention the "shit happens"-perspective
Sorry about the confusion. Didn't mean for my words to be mis-interrupted.

Quote:
My question here is: Would you be willing to let her set the rules in this way, subject only to adjustments from negotiation?
Well of course i'd let her set the rules!!! hahah. But I completely dis-agree with your "weakest-link" theory. Naturally, the most insecure person is the person who is going to try and set the rules. Because rules make life safe, and that's why insecure people need them. While, i don't think that's fair, it's inevitable really...there's no way around it in a loving and understanding relationship. However I don't agree to your notion that automatic contention is what's right and just. It's the DUTY of the insecure to become more security with their reality, just as much as it the DUTY of the stronger link to be just that, a strong link and support to the lesser. I pride myself in my ability to change, and be versatile to all obstacles in life, and i expect no less from others. To remain stagnant is to beckon death.

Quote:
And what would YOUR position be?
yay i'm a daddy!! lol. I'm a bit confused by this question. What other position would I be in, in opposition?


My g/f is actually very much like MonoVCPHG, a frequent poster on here. Though we got into this because she fell in love with me while already in love with another(which is...debatable, for reason no discussed). Eventually, she realized you could only have one person into her life sexually. She wasn't having sex with her main partner, when she was with me. And i'm pretty sure there was never a time she wasn't having sexual relations with me. She views sex as the end-all tell-all emotional black-hole. Once you let a person in like that, there's no goin' back. And emotionally, she can only handle giving that to one person. At least, i think I got that right, that may be a bad analogy though.

In any case, we decided to stay monogamous because of past issues with how we got started, and the fact that she can only handle one person in like that. As far as me, i'm poly. But it's an going debate if my "poly-ness" is a need or a want. She has trust issues with me, and we need to work on that before I delve into any other relationships.

The difference between me and her is, she views sex as the means to an end, and I view sex as the end to means. think I'll make a thread on that.
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