View Single Post
Old 05-08-2010, 07:33 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

in regards to that aspect, the other detail I think is missing in the question is that relationships may continue but not be stagnant as one DYNAMIC.

I asked at the beginning of the thread (don't recall getting a concrete answer either) about this detail BECAUSE:

I've been "OUT" as poly for only 71/2 months now.

BUT-I've been in a relationship with GG for 17 years
AND in a relationship with Maca for 12 years.

Both of them were aware that I had these relationships.

Even Maca would admit he knew when I was having an affair with GG. The dynamic that changed was that we stopped having a relationship of secrets and lies.

BUT the relationships have co-existed for the last 12 years.
During that time both men have been integral parts of this family, both have been integral in raising the kids, both have been integral in supporting me, each other and the relationships between.

What has continued to change is HOW we go about this. The key is we have all continued to grow and mature, and therefore the "boundaries" of our relationships have changed to match our growth and maturity.

SO-if you asked me if I had a poly relationship 12 years ago I would have said, "what the hell is a poly relationship".

BUT the truth is that the answer was yes.
FURTHERMORE-throughout the ENTIRE 17 years GG and I have had a relationship my sister has been involved as well. She isn't my biological sister for those who don't know this, she was my foster sister for a year or so when we were in school and we just "stuck".

Anyway-she and I have had a poly-family from the beginning. We've been raising children, sharing household responsibilities and finances, etc for 18+ years. She and I have never been sexually involved, however our lovers have been involved in this dynamic as well.

So I really find this thread FRUSTRATING still-because it seems so VAGUE.

How do you define if you were in a poly relationship/poly dynamic/poly family? Is it based on you KNOWING the word POLYAMOROUS first? Or is it a matter of meeting the definition of poly in your lifestyle even if you didn't know the word?

You know?
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote