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Old 05-08-2010, 02:55 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Where this thread seemed to pop back up - I was re-reading it and this came to mind...........

Originally Posted by TL4ever
.....See, the reasoning behind me asking is this; I don't know that a "poly" relationship between more than two people can last the test of time. I mean, to me, a "successful relationship", is gauged by time and happiness. You need both to be successful. One without the other is not a successful relationship IMO. My wife and I have been married to each other for over half our lives now. We have had ups, and downs. However, when we involve others in our relationship, we are way happier with each other. Unfortunately, we can't seem to make our secondary relationships last longer than 2 years. This saddens us greatly, and we are beginning to think it is us...and not the others.

Originally Posted by GeminiGirl
...... That said, I wonder if time is always the best indicator of a successful relationship? Isn't success also measured by how you feel about, relate to, and communicate with someone, regardless of how long you spend as their partner?
I guess I'm more or less on the same plane as GeminiGirl in regards to duration.
For me - navigating life and including multiple loves is primarily about the interrelations. As we work our way through life, people come & go in our lives. There's seems to be connections there. Lesson on living for one or both of us. The actual duration seems to be tied to the length of time necessary for the lessons to be learned.

As LR and RP have also brought up, just "staying together", sacrificing etc with the outlook that relationships require sacrifice, compromise etc etc begins to look like the lessons are NOT being learned - so they continue to be repeated ! So I don't hold any special attachment to longevity without looking at WHERE it's going and what's being learned/gained along they way by all involved.

For us, we seemed to have become attached to the journey ! We quit counting a long, LONG time ago and although we acknowledge the fact that there could always be some point of termination, seeing what we've seen we consider that highly unlikely. We're too caught up in the fascination of the journey itself to look at either beginning or endpoints.

Maybe a strange outlook................

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