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Old 07-17-2009, 03:58 AM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 369

N and I have a 5 year old boy and a baby on the way. We've only had the one poly relationship, which was a V with me at the center. But the three of us (N, P, and myself) were all very loving and affectionate. He knew P since birth and had always been comfortable with her. When the relationship went beyond friendship he didn't know about that aspect of it. As was said before, what goes on behind closed doors in any marriage remains there. All he knew was that mommy and daddy were happy and Aunt P was around more and he got to have more people who loved him and paid attention to him around more often. He was actually affected more after P left our relationship and pretty much our lives. He missed her and still asks about her over a year later.

Our son has always been raised around friends of differing race, religion, and sexual preference so it isn't unusual for him to see two women or two men together in the same way it isn't unusual for him to see an interracial couple. He's happy when he sees happy people. I think we would have allowed more detail of the relationship come out at his pace had it lasted.

Still, I have a difficult time reconciling being poly with being the mother of young children. I understand what you mean about not wanting them to be viewed as "different". N and I discuss it often, even without any other relationships going on. What it usually comes down to is that we need to be comfortable being ourselves with our children if we are ever to hope to teach them to be comfortable with who they become, whatever that may be.
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