Im tired right now and want to reread your post. But I feel that I may be able to give you some advice to start off with.
1) Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you have had that many relationships start up then there is obviously some great points about you . Besides would you want to be with someone that is stuck on feeling shitty about themselves? Of course not! So turn on the positive attitude and the charm and BE someone that others want to be around.
2) Be true to yourself ( Something a good friend on here told me when I first joined). You have to do that first.
Hang in there! I know its shitty right now but you WILL get past this.
BTW - Welcome to the boards
Peace and Love
" NO WORDDIES BE HAPPY"- My 2 year old baby girl