View Single Post
Old 05-07-2010, 12:55 AM
rolypoly's Avatar
rolypoly rolypoly is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 350

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Roly this is a big deal.
It's good for you to see it, and acknowledge YOUR part in it as well as acknowledging the already existing family's part in it.

Maca and I had a family as well. When GG decided to be with me, he gained OUR family, but he also gave up having a family "all his own" so to speak.
Not that he couldn't marry someone and start a family (well could have) but he would always have a SHARED family (now he's fixed but that's another story).

It was REALLY a struggle for his friends/family, even Maca to understand how he could make that choice. But for him (and my sister too) they consider these kids to be their own-even though the children aren't biologically theirs (the little one is bio-child of gg's, but none are my sisters). The kids as well consider all four of us parents...

So there are multiple ways for it to be worked out-but you really have to find the right fit for you (and the people you are with).

I agree. Fit is important. Over the years I've thought a lot about how to have children in my life if having my own biological children didn't pan out. And I've come to accept that if I don't ever birth my own child, that's ok. Sometimes it's hard, but having a chronic illness will always be sometimes hard.

I know that whatever happens, I won't be "giving up" on having kids. Both in the sense that dating Nerdist (since everyone knows now anyway, sheesh) won't mean that I can't pursue whatever else life brings. And in the sense that I am not sacrificing my own desire for a family to be with someone. It's highly possible that I can't conceive and it's often true that I just don't have enough energy to keep up with a kid. I worry that it wouldn't be fair to them.

It feels more like I would be adapting the "hows" of it all.

LR, did you and GG end up having a child together also? Or am I getting confused? Personally, I've often dreamed and become all googly eyed over the years, at the possibility of sharing a big family with kids who all belong to each other, rather than solely to their biological parents.

I kind of grew up that way. My dad left when I was 2 and my mom and I lived with various combinations of her sisters, her friends and her mom. It feels more natural that way.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
Reply With Quote