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Old 07-16-2009, 07:33 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by vandalin View Post
I feel for me it might although it hasn't come up yet. But how about those who it doesn't come naturally for? Say the S.O. who agrees to open their relationship up but not partake in the "openness". They need to "find" compersion and although we'd love to believe that it comes as easily as "I want you to be happy" would, it probably doesn't.

So was it just as easy for your partner(s) to feel compersion? For the non-poly side of a poly relation, does it just "come naturally" or did you have to work on it and if so, anything in particular that helped you/them?
I hate to say it it but I suck at compersion when it comes to my husband and the others he has had. They are never good enough for me and I often feel very certain that he needs no one else but me, so why is he looking. His success has not been good when it comes to women that are actually capable and willing to love him as much as he expects and he often ends up hurt and disillusioned. Perhaps this has something to do with my hesitancy to be happy for him?

Maybe I am not very good at not being jealous? In fact this fits better for me. Jealousy indicates that there is something a miss in my life and I need to get in touch with what that might be fast before I go crazy.

My husband is incredible with his compersion. He has put up with so much in me. I am somewhat of a free spirit and have had many adventures that other men would simply not put up with... he has struggled but has always known that the freedom he gives me keeps me loving him and staying in our relationship. In being happy that I am living my life to the fullest he is gaining his own happiness and living his life to the fullest as I am able to offer him what he needs.
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