Originally Posted by Ariakas
If my wife wanted to get involved with a woman, without me there, I would be a little disappointed but I also understand how a man can interfere with the flow of the situation.
I've made it very clear to my husband that if and when I get it on with a girl, he won't be there. It would screw up the dynamic and influence things too much. After we've been together, and if it's what she wanted (this hypothetical "she" that is), then and only then would I consider a threesome. I'm not poly for the sake of getting my husband's rocks off. My life is not a porno.
Originally Posted by Petal
Regarding the rest of your post. You don't have to give into anything that you don't feel comfortable giving into. Remember this is your world and the only things allowed in it are the things you've invited. If you don't like the situation or what he is asking of you then you need to take the time to decide your bottom line and stick with it. Even if that means loosing him because facts are facts. He is never going to be able to stop being who he is so now you just have to accept if you can live with it or without it. Once you give your bottom line he will have the same choice.
I second this advice. If you can't handle the poly or swinging, and that's well within your right, then you don't have to. And if he can't handle monogamy, then he doesn't have to. If those are not compatible, then you two are not compatible. No amount of love is going to substitute for happiness if both of your needs aren't being met.
If I wanted to be labelled, I would hang out on grocery shelves.
Gralson = my husband, Auto = my girlfriend