Along the same lines, my husband had some hesitance to marry me because of the fact that I had not yet gone through a major life crisis. He was worried that, since I'm fairly young (late 20's) and haven't had a crisis yet, that when I inevitably did, I would change so much as a person that I would no longer want to be with him. I guess it's a little naive for me to say that's hogwash, even though it's how I feel. I don't share his belief that everyone has to go through a major crisis to become their new self. I think it can be a gradual process, provided you have the awareness to make conscious decision rather than just reacting to your surroundings.
This isn't exactly what you were saying, but it seems to be along the same lines... about whether you can be prepared for a certain type of relationship before having gone through some set of experiences to see what "the other side" is like.
“As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.” —bisexualbaker