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Old 05-04-2010, 10:53 PM
Petal Petal is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Southern Eastcoast
Posts: 17

Originally Posted by Slip View Post
Seriously, this may be a good time for you to investigate being a Dom. It would give you the control over the situation and I bet you'd be really good at dominating another woman. It's quite powerful. Do a little research - I bet you'll find a place for you and a new inner power.
I must say that I think Slip has a valid point here. I once felt the same as you. I'm pretty sure I even said all the same things you've said before. The only twist is I also live a D/s lifestyle as well so its my nature to be submissive at least to men, but my feelings on women and letting them in used to be the same as yours. That was until I lost the man I loved because I wasn't ready to fully open up to him being poly and then a little while later when in a D/s club getting to Domme a lady. Ever since then I no longer have problems with women in general. So perhaps you should give it a try.

Originally Posted by faeriesrreal View Post
my husband recently stated he is poly and he also posts on this board as well. My thing is I do not like females. Any and all women/girls I have ever worked with, hung with, met or what have you have exhibited the same backstabby, catty, judgemental, moody, opinionated, steam-roller behaviors. Because of this I DO NOT want to have a relationship with another woman. I have low self esteem and only recently have I begun to test out my boundaries, state my opinions and stick with them, and request my rights. I do not want any female coming into the picture and setting me back. My default setting is to just go with the flow, defer to others and walk on eggshells no matter if it makes me uncomfortable or not. My husband has encouraged me to become a stronger person, he is not against me learning who I am and what I like; although I can tell it hurts him that I am not on the same least right now. My conundrum is just this: how do I let a female in, even to be a friend ( I have female "acquaintances", and have had the same ones for over 25 years, but I keep them a safe emotional distance away) but I mean a 'close' friend, to trust them; to be able to feel as safe as I do with my husband in expressing my thoughts, opinions, and MY moodiness without the fear that they will get tired of it, leave and hurt me? Afterall, she wouldn't have any REAL reason to stay and put up with me. Plus, if she and my husband find they get along too well, they both might bolt. This is what I am afraid of.
Regarding the rest of your post. You don't have to give into anything that you don't feel comfortable giving into. Remember this is your world and the only things allowed in it are the things you've invited. If you don't like the situation or what he is asking of you then you need to take the time to decide your bottom line and stick with it. Even if that means loosing him because facts are facts. He is never going to be able to stop being who he is so now you just have to accept if you can live with it or without it. Once you give your bottom line he will have the same choice. The bottom line of my advice is can't love someone is you can't fully accept them and neither of you deserve to be with someone who can't love you for all that you are instead of all they want you to be.

If you find you can fully accept him then you need to confront your "conundrum" to do that you need to stop thinking of her as a "women" which is something you have a lot of negative feelings towards and start to look at her as a person. Some of the things you said about women may be true at times, but truth is a man is the same way. It's called human nature not woman nature. So you are going to have to overcome you conundrum with her the same as you did with any person you've ever dated....take the walls down in time as you feel comfortable and no further.
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