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Old 05-04-2010, 04:48 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by faeriesrreal View Post
we are gonna be going to a place within the next couple of weeks where i experienced my first real g2g kiss/makeout last year. granted i was wasted on absinthe, i did have fun with it at the time. at that time the hubby wasn't "out" as poly and hadn't expressed any real desires of seeing me in a 3way or having another relationship other than 'typical' male 'oh i'd like that' type stuff. but now, with him 'out', i feel like any playing or fun having on my part will constitute him thinking I am OK with things and that he will push harder for things afterward. yes, i MIGHT play with another girl, i MIGHT let him.
Be honest with him. Tell him you don't know if and when it will happen again. Heck it might take time for you to get comfortable WITH a girl before you can include a guy. Also, making out with a girl is hugely different than having sex with one (or so I have seen and been told anyways). While I am all for experimentation you might want to figure out what you like before diving in might find, once push comes to shove, drunk and bi is different than sober and bi. ...

I agree with red, this does sound like swinging. Unless you fall in love each time you make out with someone drunk

it just depends on the situation, the girl and my emotional fortitude at the moment. i am contemplating all of this before hand. i am trying to figure out how far i am willing/comfortable with going. and also then, letting it be known that is IT in no uncertain terms. i am just afraid whatever i do won't be enough for him. or that afterward he may blaming me for taking two steps forward and 3 back. how do i enforce my boundaries, still have fun, explore and not hurt his feelings???
Out of curiosity, the first time you had sex (ok...not the "first" time), did you put a lot of consideration into what you were planning to do...or did you just let it flow. The physical sex part of an equation should be easy. In my opinion anyways. The beauty of sex is the flow between the parties involved. Its just plain amazing. When sex works, it just works...period

As for him being disappointed, upset etc...he should be looking at this as a gift...treat...however you want to word it. If he gets it, be happy, if he doesn' goes on. If he begins to hold this over your head in any ways, thats dangerous

As to your boundaries, they are yours, you have a right to them. If my wife wanted to get involved with a woman, without me there, I would be a little disappointed but I also understand how a man can interfere with the flow of the situation. As an example, there have been a couple of occasions where I have left the room during sex because the flow was between my wife and our girlfriend...they needed some time for themselves. Or at least that was my interpretation. It worked out, they had their time, I got to rest haha...your boundaries are yours...own and understand them

Be careful not to leave damaged by others because you unknowingly, on both parts, allowed them to damage you.
Also be cognizant of the person you are going to try to be with too. Be honest with all of your intentions and even your experience.

Last edited by Ariakas; 05-04-2010 at 04:52 PM.
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