Originally Posted by maca
Im very frustrated right now. Things seem to be... like the tide... LR and I are up ang her and GG are down, then her and GG are up and LR and I are down. Its wearing me out.
There is this hugh pressure for GG and I to "make a friendship". Im really struggling with this right now. LR has put a stop to our relationship growing till GG and I work out this relationship issue.
LR and I are closer then we have ever been in 11years and now its on hold. I feel like a switch that can just get turned off.
If you feel like you have been closer recently than you have in over a decade then why are you struggling? Are you two very different people struggling to find commonalities other than LR? It seems you should know what those are by now. Are you both competing about who has the best/closest relationship with LR? From reading this forum there is an indication you have equal footing so should feel confident in your relationship and status. Or are you feeling some other issue is making it a struggle with GG? Just state the problem with developing a friendship with GG. Is LR putting a "stop" to your relationship with her or is she telling you her happiness is only complete when the two of you are working to work it all out because when one of you is hurting then she is hurting and if one of you causes the hurt to the other then her hurt is doubled. Yeah, so tensions are going to arise from time to time because you all live together and share so many things and that lends itself to minor annoyances. But you have known eachother for years, is there something NEW that has arisen in the living dynamic that should cause a sudden frustration or struggle? If you are feeling like a switch that someone else has to turn on and off then maybe you need to look at ways you can be more proactive in making both relationships grow. Just a thought. I think you are brave people to try the whole living arrangement that you have, so I have no experience to share but I do hope it makes all of you happy.
BTW I am having an introspective day. Opened up a bit more with my sister (out of my four sibs we are the closest) about this change in my life. Also spoke with a very close cousin on Friday. Gushed a bit about the bf. They are amazed that my husband is ok with it and that it has been a year without incident with him. I think they are curious and kind of in awe that he is so accepting.They both had concerns about my choice in bf because he is married and the whole work obstacle but are completely supportive. I told them all about KT and I and how we are working together to make this all amicable and hopefully better in the longrun. Big sigh of relief that there was no drama. Looking forward to happier times with all of my loved ones together! Fingers crossed.