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Old 05-03-2010, 07:46 PM
poiyt poiyt is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: bc, canada
Posts: 13
Default Dealing with unexpected pregnancy

So Dw might be pregnant.

Quick background - our poly relationship is about 6 months old. DH and I have been married for 3 years, and Dw and I are soulmates. Dh and Dw are also in love with eachother. We have a seemingly happy triad - though we have our issues; but thats to be expected.

Anyways, though we are using protection, and charting, and in fact Dh was out of town for school for the majority of 6 weeks - it only takes once and Dw might be pregnant. She is 6 days late, and has many typical early pregnancy signs.

She has admitted that if this were a typical mono relationship she wouldnt feel ready to have a baby with Dh. And the timing is quite soon - we already have 4 kids (2 biologically mine, 2 hers with her husband who she maintains a relationship with) - all kids are under 4 years old.

Im feeling...well...very nervous. It was my goal for dh and dw to eventually have a child, I think it would make the triad feel more inclusive and less 'our kids' v 'her kids', but I wasnt expecting it now.

Im feeling like i could very easily be envious of the pregnancy, as happy as I would also be for her and for us, and that the envy could easily manifest itself as anger - and I dont want that.

Im also feeling like I will be forgotten when it comes to support. Dw will need a lot given that she is the pregnant one, and will have to tell her dh - which will devastate him, and dealing with having a baby when she didnt really want to have one yet. DH will need a lot of support because he has recently lost his mum, has a girlfriend (its what he calls her) who is pregnant and will be unsure how his wife feels. I will have to make sure he knows that I am okay.

Given that Im not the one pregnant, or dealing with those emotional issues, Im worried I wont get the support I need - especially since I think ill need some.

Our relationship didnt start out on the positive of notes. We had drinks, swapped husbands, and forgot to discuss anything. Its taken us a long time to get to where we are now. I think some of my insecurities from the way the onset of the relationship was will come back now.

Anyways else deal with an unexpected pregnancy, even in the early stages of a poly relationship?
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