Originally Posted by ak2381
So he does what I ask and brings home some of the excitement of BDSM and the whole dom lifestyle. We are purely in bedroom with that stuff. I know some make it a full lifestyle but outside the bedroom we don't so we can show our daughter that we are equals and I am not less than he is.
Through bringing home the dom/sub life he has asked me to call him sir in the bedroom and wear the garters and such again. I do as I am asked because that comes with it. But I almost feel like a copycat, a second thought.
Being in a poly family that my partner desires is something I've struggled with for years to a point that it has torn us apart, but are finally getting to where we should have been so I can't comment on most things regarding those aspects. However, I was basically raised surrounded by D/s and that is a lifestyle I've lived everyday of my life. So this I can speak on!
I think this is the thing that bothers me most about D/s being misunderstood. Of course there are so many people just dabling in BDSM and calling themselves Masters while they hardly know how to control themselves little long others that I can understand why society has this misunderstanding. Never think that just because you call him Sir or are the sub in the relationship that that makes you any less of a person and if ever your kids do catch wind of that part of your life it wouldn't be a bad thing to explain that to them. Just because you're submissive doesn't make you a doormat. Actually it makes you stronger than most because there is nothing harder in this world than to submit regardless of what it is your submitting to. I've seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst in all my years and I promise that even the best Masters would say to anyone other than his sub that really it's the sub who controls everything because if she didn't submit then he couldn't Dom her.
The other thing I wanted to comment on is that you shouldn't consider yourself a copycat. You should consider yourself the trend setter. After all you said he first got into that with you, but it fizzled down until after she entered the picture. So that leads me to think you gave him the interest, but he wasn't ready yet. Perhaps he didn't feel adequate at taking on such a role with you back then, but now that he has had a little more trial and error time with her he feels more capable to do so with you.