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Old 05-02-2010, 05:58 PM
Taamar Taamar is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 7

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I know I would feel very disappointed and hurt if someone told me that something isn't open to discussion. how does anyone move forward from that?!
I see your point, and I would absolutely handle it differently if the person had a habit of respect and some interest in the situation.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I would prefer hearing, "I am feeling threatened and hurt by your words, I am not interested in talking with you about this until I hear words that don't make me feel threatened. If you want to talk to me differently then let me know." Or "I am not interested in talking about this right now, please ask me later or we can make a time to talk, but right now doesn't work for me."
Generally, if the person is capable of discussing it in a non-threatening manner the 'not for discussion' cock-block isn't necessary. Yes, one should always try to explain and come to accord first, but some people won't accept any alteration to their points of view, and with those people you DO have to simply walk away. I should have been more clear that the shut-down is a last resort, not an opening salvo.

As I mentioned, my mother eventually came around. My aunt never will because her viewpoint is "Logic doesn't matter, God says it's wrong and you're going to hell, and it's my responsibility to turn you from your sinful ways" There is no possibility of respectful non-threatening conversation there!
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