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Old 05-02-2010, 05:54 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

okay, I agree with Quath, but I also think that sometimes people live in fear that if they say something that the person will go up one side of them and down the other. They feel threatened. There needs to be room for vulnerability without punishment.

If I had something delicate to talk about I would ask that the person know that I am about to say something that makes me feel vulnerable to them and that I am scared to say it. I would tell them that I trust they won't blow up at me and ask them to take some breaths and think about what their response will be before talking. Then I would tell them what it is I think they don't want to hear and trust that my open heart won't be stomped on.

Those I love around me are very respectful of when others are making themselves vulnerable to them. It becomes an art after awhile. It becomes recognizable when someone is opening up to me.

I usually try making myself vulnerable to people and if I get stomped on and there is no progression to something more healthy, then I leave the relationship. I work hard to communicate, if someone doesn't want to work with me then they will get nothing from me... and then I have no problem omitting truth. I have no investment in them at that point, so what does it matter?

I find it interesting that most of what people dish out instead of talking openly and honestly is passive aggressive. It seems it is far easier to be sarcastic than honest. I struggle with that myself still.
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