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Old 05-02-2010, 03:17 PM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 117

Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
THIS part concerns me. If he's NOT really "ok" with it, then why are you doing it? This is something that my wife and I would call "cheating". If one part of a couple is not ok with something, then it is cheating IMO.

In response to this, I asked my dh what he thought and he said:

"it's a work in progress, we are working towards that. And it's complete informed consent." So I feel it is NOT cheating.

To me, it's a process. I have been completely honest with him, respected any boundaries he has set (e.g. no sex in our house) and have told him multiple times that if he is not comfortable with it continuing, bf and I will stop the sexual part of our relationship.

He is also looking into the possibility of dating someone, although he is ambivalent. I support him where he is at.

Not my relationship. Apparently it works for you two....Or not? Trust me, if he is not ok with it, it will blow up in a big way and your mother will be the least of your concerns.
Agreed. I'm not sure it completely works for my husband, but we have frequent conversations where we talk openly about our feelings and check-in. It's open and honest. I can't think that I'm the only one here whose spouse is/was not 100% comfortable at first.

My wife and I just came out to our kids about a week ago. our kids are 18 and 13. We have not told our parents yet. I fully suspect they would all be fine with it though. All are well grounded and open and realize that it is ultimately OUR relationship....Not theirs.
That's wonderful. I hope to be able to offer my kids this...certainly trusting them to make their own choices even if they aren't ones that I would make.

With your mother, I would explain to her that you are an adult....Your hubby is an adult....and your bf is an adult.....and you are all consenting (Although this is not what you stated above by saying that your hubby is NOT totally "ok" with it), so it is your decision as adults to make. If she doesn't like it, she can leave you alone.
Yes, and yes I do consider him consenting as I stated above. Thanks for the thoughts...
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