I admire your fortitude but struggle to imagine being conscious of the moment my spouse is having sex with someone that's not me.
Last night my wife said that having seen the effect her desire to continue to have sexual relationships with other guys is having on me (basically I'm consumed with guilt, jealousy, passion, I'm drinking too much, can't concentrate at work, irritable with the kids... shall I go on?), that she's prepared to abandon the idea.
But I'm not convinced that's what I want, as I will constantly be suspicious of whether she's actually cheating on me again.
So, do I want to give her the opportunity to live out her desires? Can we chart a more neutral course and try swinging together? Or do I take her word for it and try to rebuild my trust in her?
Lots of questions, few answers. I've started a blog to help me express what I'm feeling and review how my sentiments evolve. http://upsidealreves.blogspot.com/