Originally Posted by galois45
I am a 64 year old guy who has been married for ten years to a now 28 year old beautiful woman. We have had a few threesomes and she has on and off had two different boyfriends she sees about once a month. We are NOT swingers. She has recently suggested a gang bang with three or four guys and I think she has a genuine amount of affection for her one boyfriend. SO my question is this....a what point does it become a truly polyamorous relationship? DO you have to live together? or what is the deciding criteria?
First off: welcome
Second you will get as many different answers to this question as there are poly relationships, lol. Such is human nature. We all take what we can use from others and leave the rest to everyone else AND we have as many different takes on any one thing as can be imagined, lol.
For me it becomes a poly relationship when everyone involved is aware of what is going on--in other words it is consensual. For me it is also essential that my partners are ok with the other partner. This means not jealous or angry or any of those other negative emotions. This may take a lot of work in order for the partner to become ok with things but it is soooooooooo worth it to be able to enjoy the compersion, the increased happiness (I didn't even think it was possible to be happier but I was wrong), the family cuddles, the teasing each other, etc.
Naturally YMMV, as will a lot of other people's but this is MY take on it.