Thanks so much, guys. Reading these entries has really helped make the last few days manageable.
I saw a therapist earlier today. I donít know whether it was because it was a first appointment or because I just have a lot of things I need to talk about right now and we couldnít address them all, but I didnít really feel a good connection. She seemed very sympathetic and willing to talk about my friend who died, but she was far less vocal when I brought up feelings centered around relationships. I mentioned polyamory, how someone I had dated (the guy I cheated with) was poly, and how loving many people makes sense to me. She didnít have much to say, and I left feeling judged. I suppose Iíll go again and see whether it was time constraints or whether I should look for someone else.
In the meantime, Iíll try to take your comments to heart. Maybe I will go into the mountains this weekend and see if I can find some peace and quiet.