I'm not going to post much, I think there have been some really great posts already. I do feel the need to put my 2cents in, though.
You say that you are "a bad person". We all make mistakes and do things we're not proud of. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself so that you can move on. And you need to change the dialogue in your head from "I am a bad person" to something more like, "I did something which I am not proud of". Saying you're a bad person cuts off your opportunity for personal growth in the future; saying the behavior was not worthy will allow you to decide not to do it in the future.
Grief can have a huge impact on your everyday life without you fully realizing it. I lost an aunt six months ago and found myself acting crazy for no apparent reason, and introspection would lead me to the feeling that I was so sad because I felt like she died before I was ready to let her go, and I was acting out. Clingy and emotional sounds like me, too. I also lost a goddaughter nine years ago and while time does make it better, it doesn't cure the grief.
If you're a veteran but not a fan of therapy, then maybe you haven't found the right therapist yet. You have the right to find one that you feel comfortable with and who you feel actually helps.