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Old 05-01-2010, 01:12 AM
StitchwitchD StitchwitchD is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 77

I thought about this while I went to the grocery store and worked on the kitchen....We're not poly, and the whole relationship/sex thing is pretty messed up right now, so it's not like I'm coming from the perspective of someone in a functional poly household, BUT we do have the working together to keep this household functioning, keep the house clean, have dinner on the table, get everyone where they need to go, and all while keeping the relationship drama to a minimum- we're AWESOME at all that.

We never really talked about basic expectations. We just all have a similar mentality about getting stuff done, we all have chores we like and ones we hate, and ones we're willing to do as long as other people take turns too. Everyone in the household is expected to contribute in some way, even the 4 year old has jobs that are his responsibility, like turning on the light in the fish tank. That's just the way it is, and if I lived here and didn't contribute anything but nookie, that would be a HUGE problem as far as everyone was concerned.

So, I think you should sit down with your husband and talk about reasonable expectations for contributing towards the well-being of the household, and how it's not fair for a healthy adult to expect to be completely unproductive and have someone else support their dead weight.
Then, assuming you've come to an agreement about that, BOTH of you talk to her about how she needs to contribute in some significant way, or she needs to go find someone else to mooch off of.
(Yeah, I'm heartless. My ex used me as a source of sex and money so he could just sit on his ass and play video games while I went to work, did most of the housework, etc. I put up with that crap way too long.)
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