Originally Posted by ak2381
I am sure MorningGlory will read this so I am sorry for her but I have to be honest coming from the same seat. I know J would love to believe that dh loves her more because she loves him more than her own husband. But she has never said that he does nor will she ever do so becasue she knows that would cross a line and probably result in loosing him forever. To say those things to the wife is completely disrespectful and uncalled for. If he isn't saying these things then I wouldn't necessarily believe them. I know that is hard. I know it is so easy to fall into the harder more negative things.
Those comments come across even more as a homewrecker point of view than someone who is interested in a considerate and open poly relationship. I am sorry if that is too harsh but I know that is what I would see if J said those things.
To be fair to Morningglory - these were not things that she said to me. She said those things in a text she sent to my husband and which he shared with me during an intimate conversation we were having the other night. The fact that a) he told me and b) I used her words on here upset her a lot and she sent me a text yesterday telling me. That is why I deleted my original post - I can't do anything about the others. She does have a right to privacy and I shouldn't have posted that. She's also upset that he shared her personal info with me. It's hard because him and I are best friends and tell each other everything. Her text bothered him enough that he talked to me and our therapist about it then to her. That is not how he feels - he does not view me as an obligation nor her as his soulmate. That is not meant to sound harsh - he hates that word and doesn't use it to describe either of us. He loves us both - equally but differently. My reason for posting that thread was that I was extremely hurt that she thought he felt that way. That she was minimizing our marriage and my importance in his life. Her and I talked for a few hours last night - and got our feelings out. I just wish her and I could stop being catty with each other and stop competing for his love. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. She's here and not going anywhere. He loves us both. Why can't we both just get over it and move on? It's frustrating! I just don't know how to stop hurting, and start believing and trusting.
ar - thanks for your support - we are both in positions that few others are. I think being a mono wife trying to accept her husband is poly and has a girlfriend - is extremely difficult. I'll pm you this weekend. MG and I were talking until 10:30 and I was too emotionally drained to pm you last night! You'll do great tonight and he'll come home to you in a great, loving, appreciative mood!