Your wife - and you as well - need to latch onto something we discuss a lot here !
"Love" is NOT a competition !
There is nor "more than" and "less than" when it comes to love !
It would seem you both have a lot of learning ahead of you. Get to it
Don't try to drive faster than you have training and practice for. If you do a crash is imminent. Polyamory has some interesting, sharp twists & turns, potholes and puddles. Forewarned is forearmed.