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Old 04-30-2010, 12:58 AM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293

Originally Posted by Morningglory629 View Post
imposed boundaries=resentment
KT and I have this problem all the time (although neither of us really want to cohabitate- at this point anyway)! Relationships developing in a natural progression is best for all involved. In my case I want everything to happen quickly. KT never wants it to progress. But we are struggling through it, and finding our way. I want KT and P to be more open to accepting my husband into their lives. That hasn't even been scratched. She has restricted our general interactions and has actually asked me to not be out with him in the entire East end of our city. And as you may know from previous posts she has actually banned certain sexual acts. Yep and I am complying. Because for whatever reason she needs those boundaries. But in my opinion they are unnecessary and counterproductive to building a relationship. I honestly believe the more rules she has requested the less happy her marriage is. .
Seems to me MG, that you have a tone in your post that is aggressive towards KT and her decisions.
"she has "actually" banned certain sexual acts." - the use of actually here seems almost disrespectful. Have you considered that she is reading into this vibe and it may be contributing to needed certain boundaries? You are in a relationship with her as well, and things are rarely one-sided.

Also,"KT "never" wants is to progress", "the less happy her marriage is", "counterproductive", all have that same ring to it. You are basically dissing her n a very passive way - do you see that?

Further, you want things to move "quickly"... Why? Especially when it may be better for all involved if it doesn't? What do you have to gain from it moving quickly that you cannot wait for?

These are just some observations from this post - some of the tone is echoed in others I have read. If you want this to succeed where everyone is healthy and satisfied, I would consider looking at yourself too.

I don't mean this in any sort of derogatory way, but since you are both on the forum, I felt that I could point it out, with the hope that my insight could help ALL of you.

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