Originally Posted by Ariakas
I mention sleep for a reason, I am a natural insomniac, I am "capable" of going days without sleep and during emotional upheaval it is at its worst. The problem is, lack of sleep throws the already slow spinning tailspin into highspeed (think dorothy on crack in the wizard of oz)...If you find you aren't sleeping, take some time to figure out how to sleep, it might help
Ok...has he really said that? Are those words out of his mouth? Thats really too bad, and I can understand your upheaval...
I hope this doesn't come across as mean, but you have every right to feel what you feel but you have to understand that these are your feelings, you have to own them and take control of them. Regardless of what he said, she does etc. You have to figure out how to take back control.
do you have a way to consistently vent whats happening. And I don't mean to others, but just release it. Journal, art, sports...some way to release what builds up. Might be a good idea to find something of your own that can help you deal with emotional buildup.
Also, and I hate bringing this idea up as I am fairly anti-therapist (sorry to those of you that love them) but have you found someone, irl, preferably unbiased to poly that you can talk to. Maybe a local poly group or poly Councillor...Just another way to consistently have someone to bounce everything off of.
Ari - no, I have not been getting enough sleep. I'm not an insomniac - but I have been getting up in the middle of the night a few nights a week to see my husband when he gets home from work (about midnight) we normally stay up until 2ish then my alarm goes off at 5am. So, yes - I am sure lack of sleep is contributing to my moods. He works evenings Sun - Thursday and we wouldn't see each other those days if I didn't.
No - my husband has not said those things - she has. He says the opposite. He loves me, he wants to be married to me and he's committed to me. He tells me that all the time. I let my insecurities, the fear of the unknown and my fear of change take control of me.
I own my feelings but I can't control them all of the time. That is what I am struggling with. When these feelings come up - I try to not over react but my mind takes hold of them and chews them up until I am emotional wreck.
I tried starting a journal but then stopped. Other than that - no, I don't have an outlet. I also don't have the time as I am a single parent during the week and my days are spent running my kids around.
I do see a therapist once a week who does have some experience with polyamory. However, I only see her once a week and that just isn't enough. And I have not found a polycommunity in my area. I wish there was one!