yup. agree entirely with GS, you are in no position to be even thinking about this at this time. In fact I am finding it rather selfish that you would even consider feeling sorry for yourself
You are lucky you are not my husband my friend, because you would be getting a tongue lashing about this one (and not in a good way).... and one of those "whatever" head shakes and blow off hand gestures.
sorry, but you should be considering your family right now. You are suppose to be just good daddy/husband right now, not Mr. loveah loveah. Your wifes "unacceptable" vote is right on the money if you ask me. Give it, oh,,,,, three, four years? and then bring it up again. You could tell her that you feel you have planted the seed and now are letting it go for the time being...By then your wife will be wanting a much needed break, and she should get one. Before starting on the poly train you will need to make sure that you are well connected again with one another and that your wife has her life back. Your family life should be well established before even considering the "poly talk"
Good luck, talk to you in a few years
go be a good dad and husband now.