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Old 04-29-2010, 05:22 PM
Confused Confused is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 91

I'm still monogamous and no longer thinking of changing that, after researching and thinking a lot about polyamoury for a few months.

I try to be completely honest with my husband, all the time. I tell him everything in as loving a way as possible but it seems like honesty is not valued at all in our society. I totally understand why we need social dishonesty (white lies) to smooth along surface relationships but I don't think they help at all in marriage or intimate relationships. The amount of people I meet though who think that telling your partner about a crush is cruel and you should keep that info to yourself because what good can it do to share it other than hurt your partner... I really don't understand this viewpoint and I've really enjoyed reading these boards to get away from that type of thinking that somehow we should protect our partners from every possible negative emotion and present ourselves as loving them and only them unconditionally whether thats true or not. I married a man, not a child and I want to be his equal partner, not his parent and that means I want to be known for who I really am, and to know him in return.

So I consider myself someone with integrity in my marriage. One thing I struggle with is learning what of the tools I've found work in my marriage will work in friendships. They seem to go a bit astray when I try to be as honest as I'd like to be. Not all but it has happened..
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