View Single Post
Old 04-29-2010, 06:16 AM
DrunkenPorcupine's Avatar
DrunkenPorcupine DrunkenPorcupine is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 175

I don't have many relationships to extrapolate from personally, but my experience is actually the OPPOSITE of your assumption, redpepper.

When I opened up to poly, I was married and mono for years. My wife was more assertive in finding partners than I was. It was a little awkward at first figuring out how we related to each other and what we related to each other. But that awkwardness wasn't jealousy for me. In fact, I don't really think I have ever been jealous of my wife or one of her partners given the long, committed relationship with her.

However, when I entered a V, I found that I was jealous and envious more frequently. With my wife, I didn't need assurances that I was still important in her life. It was pretty clear where we stood with each other. In the V, there was ranking and deferring that made me unsettled.

I'm pretty sure you won't find hard and fast rules to the types, reasons for, or amounts of jealousy among the different shapes of relationships. I think, like all relationships, it depends entirely on the people in them.
Connection is the path to passion. Passion is not the path to connection.
Reply With Quote