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Old 04-27-2010, 10:30 PM
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Firedancer Firedancer is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 12

Originally Posted by Tseras View Post
With that I would like to ask a couple of questions from the more experienced poly folk here.

First of all, is her dishonesty in this case normal for poly relationships or is it a red flag that I should watch out for?
Dishonesty should never be accepted in any relationship, I would definately say that this is a red flag. If she is lying to him, she may be lying to you about something.

Second, what would be the best way for her to tell him that she is poly?
Gently and being open to his reaction. Not being defensive.

Third, is it really my concern as to whether or not she is being honest with her other partner, or am I being too meddlesome in her life? Is it really my place to demand her to be honest in this case, especially if it might compromise her relationship?
I personaly think that it should your concern. I have had some moments in my quad where my partner and our girlfriend were not/have not been completely honest with the fourth person in our quad, her boyfriend. It had nothing to do with me, but I will not be involved in a relationship with any of them if anyone is lying about anything. Poly is about openess, honesty and love. So, I personaly think it is your place to demand that she be honest. If he cares about her, he will at least listen, but this is something that should have been brought up much sooner. No way I would stand for my partner absolutely putting his foot down on my meeting his partner/s.

Finally when is the "right moment" to tell a possible romantic prospect that you're poly?
Second date... I personaly think waiting any longer is just lying to your prospect. Who wants to be caught off gaurd a month or two into a relationship that thier partner is poly? Just sayin....
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