Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
This is a prime example of when the idea of community becomes too much about rules and behavior for inclusion. This is so ironic especially when those same people are probably preaching about how enlightened they are.
Mono I was thinking the same thing! ILW2 you seem to be lightyears ahead of the game from my perspective. We have VERY similar situational beginnings and circumstances. (minus the abuse history) But at least your significant others are at a point of recognizing eachother, developing thier own relationship will be up to them. But the great part about it is your husband is accepting a poly life for you and possibly himself. Your bf doesn't feel comfortable with your husband because? Does he feel guilty about intruding in you and your family's life together? Is he afraid of rejection from them? Figuring out that issue just takes some talking and maybe even "forcing" some interraction. By forcing I do not mean making it a requirement or ultimatum but more of a directing opportunities for them to hangout and have chances to develop a relationship. You are in it and everyone is somewhat on the same page of awareness. That is most of the battle it seems! Good luck! Happy to meet
you one here! I am a poly newbie too!
"Oh, one more thing. One of the big sticking points for my dh is that R made the choice to date a married woman. Because he doesn't have more dimensions to R, he still has animosity toward him. I did suggest to him last night that he might feel better if he were able to let go of the animosity, and he was at least momentarily receptive to that. My dh is very pragmatic--why hold on to emotions that cause you discomfort?"
Been there...on both ends. I guess our SOs don't realize that we are not victims of someone "going after" us but rather willing participants in exploring a new, loving relationship.
"So in that case, not sure what we'd be, but I'm sure you all will tell me. A V, A W or maybe even a V Triad (she and I have some interest in possibly having some sexual exploration). I'm chuckling b/c there may truly be no other place in the world where I could admit that (can you tell I'm happy to have this forum)."
For real! Thank God for it.
And so in agreement on the whole swinging thing. I cannot separate sex from having some kind of relationship with the person. Even if it is "compersion voyeurism" there is some love there!
Again...best of luck. I guess I will see you on here!