Originally Posted by Ariakas
She was taking my emotions, trying to take ownership and then taking them out on our ex. This is VERY toxic. While I did need her supporting me, I did not, and would never want her to join me in my anger/jealousy/frustration. I ended up sitting down with her and explaining to her that I own my emotions, it is not her job to take those on. Support me, help me through it, but don't take them for yourself.
One of my favorite things to say (and do) is "Own it!" Good or bad it is yours to fix, to feel and to learn. My bf and my hubs both have issues with owning things they say or do or need to take responsibilty for. And then they try to commandeer (or own) things with which they have NO business being concerned. It can be frustrating. But you are recognizing it. So cheers!
It is liberating in a way to know that you own your mistakes and that YOU
can fix them independently of others. And it is FAB that you do not want your negatives comingled with someone else's relationship or vibe. So keep owning it...work it! This is hard work!!! And there is no crying in love...well actually there is but you know what I mean!