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Old 04-26-2010, 03:10 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by Foundthetwo View Post
If I may go back to the original issue, does anyone have a plan as Saudade suggested? If so, does it cause everyone to become hyper-aware? I want to protect myself, but not to the detriment of the sex. I love the impulsivity of our sex life, and don't want to feel that my emotions have made that too difficult.
Hey Found,

First - sorry for being seeming harsh regarding the med element. That really is not a topic for here and it was only one of the complicating factors you described.

So yea, back to focus........

If you think back, is this the first time it worked out that you were NOT the center of attention ? If not, did you just flow with it better in the past ? Is it possible that all that whole series of conditions you described just made for a unique worst case scenario ? If so, I think just acknowledging it openly as such (sorry - had a bad night overall) is the end of it !


If NOT, if you truly feel you need to be center of attention all the time, do you think that's fair ? Is that your part of a loving & giving relationship - to always be on the receiving end ? Right ? Get what I mean ?
I really doubt that's the case, but if it were, how long do you think that is going to last ?

In our 3 way experiences we always at least try to make sure everyone get's their fair share of being center of attention. But time, energy and a variety of outside factors can impose on that. But where we all know going in that that's the plan, if it doesn't work out in one instance we try to make up for it in the next ! Not at all uncommon for one person to say " hey ! X didn't get a lot of special attention last time - let's focus on them first !" It's all in the spirit of everyone being happy and satisfied.
But like we say so often on similar topics - it's NOT a competition. Nobody is (or should be) keeping score ! Like you said - the spontaneity is a big part of the excitement. And that being the case you have to learn to just flow with that as much as possible. If it get's consistently one-sided (2 sided?), THEN you have a different issue. But I say don't build or cross that bridge unless you come to it.

Keep us posted !

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