Thanks otter & idealist. "Emotional strength" ... yeah, that's a little shaky. I wasn't expecting to fall for someone as soon as I returned dating but I did. The connection is overwhelming. And then to find another man who finds my candidness refreshing & such a relief! Wow! They know about each other, have similar interests, but they do not want to meet. The snag is the first one's ex girlfriend contacted him. Though he told her he was involved, I, out of wanting to be fair, told him he shouldn't remain monogamous to me if he was accepting my not being monogamous. I'm not sure I did the right thing but I knew I wouldn't be comfortable remaining quiet. I don't want resentment building. I agreed, reluctantly, that he treat us as equals, & asked that she acknowledge that she was getting involved in an open relationship. She didn't want to, I pushed, & he backed out saying it was too complicated. I know I'm going to run into this a lot, & have already back in Dec. with another man who was easy to let go. But this one is much too important for me to lose. I've arranged for us to talk & hope I can work something out.