Thanks for the replies. It's nice to actually hear some encouraging words on the subject. After I met her I started getting quite a bit of not-quite-outright-stated disapproval from my friends. Unavoidable, since I had a friend with me when I met her for safety.
Originally Posted by kamala
You seem to be hesitant to go down this road with this new woman, because it will threaten an imagined possible (monogamous) future... but there's something in you that's brought you this far already
This is definitely true. I knew about this from the beginning and I still pursued it this far. I guess a lot of it is that I've never been the person to dodge the unconventional or even hazardous if it could give me a shot at being a happier person. So I don't really want
to pull the plug, but I can only take so much peer negativity before it starts affecting me.
Originally Posted by EugenePoet
If you mean that you would become monogamous, then it would be possible that she would be hurt. It's also possible that she would wish you well, hope for your happiness, and remain a friend. Isn't that true?
That's kinda what I was going for. I suppose her being understanding is a possibility, but it'd still be pretty hurtful. On the other hand I guess I can't exactly exclude meeting someone who'd be okay with me continuing with her. But being gay certainly makes the pond smaller enough without adding "poly" to the list of requirements.
Discussing this with her seems like it'd be too early to the point of being offputting. I did mention that I'm mono and if emotions got involved that could get complicated, she said if that happened we'd have to have a long talk. Which I suppose is good enough for me for now.
So I have an additional question. If the thought of a hypothetical future where I have some form of relationship with this lady and also a primary partner of my own doesn't sound that bad to me, does that mean I might be less mono than I thought?