View Single Post
Old 04-25-2010, 08:02 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
We do it here every day - in anonymity. But it COULD be the open default way to communicate.

Be interesting to see what that looks like - eh ?

Goodness I was just telling someone ( I can't remember at the moment who it was) that I really am losing that anonymity faster than I could possibly rebuild it.
By my own choice mind you-but still.

I find that since I made the commitment to myself to make my decisions from the stance of love-it really makes it damn near impossible to keep anonymity.

For example:
someone created a login for the SOLE purpose of sending me a PM asking for my advice. I COULD have talked with him via PM endlessly and remained anonymous.
But the truth is that when I read his explanation, request for suggestions, what I heard was a heartbreaking. I FELT the heartbreaking. (writing this gave me goosebumps).
I responded and made the offer that he could give my email (less intimidating to a mono) to his wife if she wanted to ask questions of her own.

I've exchanged personal contact information with a number of the people on the board and am making arrangements to corelate my vacations to meeting them.

In doing so I've found that I feel so much better about myself.

I'm reading the book 'The Seven Levels of Intimacy'. It really gets in to the importance of being REAL to yourself before you can be real to anyone else. But something else it said that REALLY hit home with me is that (don't laugh);

While opportunities are unlimited, TIME is limited.
We can have LOTS of relationships in level 1-2 of intimacy, or we can have a smaller number of relationships that hit levels 5-7.
Not because any of those relationships aren't potential opportunities for deeper level relationships, but because building that depth of intimacy requires TIME and we have a limited amount of time.

I have started limiting my time with people who I can't be REAL with and increasing my time with people who I can. Because we can't have a REAL relationship if I can't be real ANYWAY-so why should I put a great amount of time into a relationship that is a facade?
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote