I am in a similar situation. It is so confusing at times sometimes I wonder if I am losing my mind... However I do know I feel very lucky to have two wonderful men who have developed a tentative friendship. I have had to worry less and less about it as time has gone on. Bit each little babystep we take together reveals more to me about the people we are and less about the hurt I might be causing, because there is no hurt if they are being honest. That's the biggest thing I learned out of this... honesty. Now I tried gently talking about it with some girlfriends and they couldn't see it, so if someone asks me directly, if I am involved with my BF I might tell them but I am not offering up the information readily. I don't like being judged especially about my private life. I am so new to this, just a few months old into the relationship where we are all on the same page and all is known, I feel good about it but so many closed minded people are out there, waiting to judge me and my loved ones. Not much to say even from those that might understand it or accept it. It is still our business and nobody else's really I think... Sorry for the rambling.