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Old 04-25-2010, 02:04 PM
EugenePoet EugenePoet is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Sounds like you can accept and share your wife's love without jealousy. I agree with you: when that is possible, open relationships can be very natural, ethical, and beautiful. It works that way for me too, though in my case I'm the secondary who adores a woman in a poly marriage.

You know the term "compersion" perhaps? It's a good sign if you are pleased when you know your wife is being happy with her new GF. I get a warm chuckle when I'm on the phone with my GF and she says her husband is running a scented bath for the two of them. It gives me pleasure to know she's so well loved. I hope you feel something like that sometimes?

You might expect some emotional turbulence, but it sounds like you and your wife -- and probably her secondary -- are stable enough to ride right through it.

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addendum: Oh, on the compersion thing: I think it really helps your partner if you tell her that her happiness pleases you. It's important because if she feels guilt about what she's doing or has unspoken anxiety about how you feel then your sharing of your compersion will help her negative feelings evaporate. A very good thing to share.

Last edited by EugenePoet; 04-25-2010 at 02:41 PM.
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