Yesterday Ginger got back in touch with me himself. He FB messaged me in mid afternoon saying he is missing me a lot and wonders how I am.
I was busy helping Houseguest move, and I wanted time to think about what to say, if I responded at all.
Finally this morning I took the plunge and messaged him back. We chatted about half an hour, with pauses in between posts, since I am sure we were both trying to say things in the calmest least drama way possible.
He told me he is having a tough time, but is sure he will "rally and flourish as always."
I know he must be all sad because he went from 5 lovers to 1! His wife is all that is left, and as we know, they aren't all that intimate.
He said at first he was relieved we weren't hurting each other all the time, but now he is missing me. I replied, maybe because it didn't work out with C&D, or so I have heard? He first denied that, but then said it was a possibility, the 2 grievings are all twisted up in odd ways.
(Of course I was being all sarcastic in my head, thinking, you made your bed, now it's empty; you got what you deserved for being so careless!)
He then wanted to know how I was doing, and I said I've been too busy to process the breakup properly so am glad for some time alone, finally!
I said, I was glad for miss pixi to be away seeing friends, and he said, that seems healthy for her. I said, Yes, she deserves some fun. I've put her through hell with all my angst around him for the past year. All this past year she's been so supportive when I've been sad and hurt.
Then he said he feels bad about me being sad and hurt.
Then he wondered if we'd talked enough for now? I thought it over, and then asked, You're still being friends with those 2 even though the sex is over? He said, it's very complicated, they see each other at events, he chats both on IM every day, and David had come over yesterday. David, who had "pulled the plug." But somehow he thinks their friendships are strong.
I said that sounds painful and messy, to still be in contact daily. But if it works for him, that is what matters.
Then he said, "I used to know how to be happy and content with no lovers [other] than R. I'm sure I will figure it out again. The transition is a bit of a shock to the system though.
I know I have thought about you every day since our break up, both before and since the break up with them.
I've tried to give you space but it has been hard.
And you? Can you tell me anything about your love life?"
Hmph. It used to drive me crazy how he thought I needed sex, but he only wanted it, and could easily go without. I always thought that was so hypocritical, since he had an operation that put him almost completely out of sexual commission, but he still seemed compelled
to pursue a romantic SEXUAL relation with those 2 jokers, poly noobs, and neglected my needs big time.
He's still clueless.
But anyway, I didn't address that. I answered him about my love life. How miss pixi has been too distracted with friends, and too shy with the Houseguest in the next room, to have had much interest in sex (we've been averaging about once a week since June, bleh). How I had a couple okc guys interested in me, but they didn't work out.
He wanted more details, but I told him I didn't want to talk about it. He was sorry I wasn't getting more sex from miss pixi. He had the gall to say, "I know you deal with droughts less well than I do. I want you to be happy."
Ha! So fucking patronizing, but I am sure he thought he was being very kind. That is the one time I let my sarcasm burst out, saying, "You want me to be happy. Hmph." Then I said, "gonna say bye now. maybe we can talk in a couple weeks." He said, "I'd like that. At the full moon." He must have looked at his calendar and put a note to msg me then, and noticed it was full moon. Like that matters or I care. But that's him, being all hippy and non sequiter and no brain to mouth filter.
So, that was that. Gives me more fodder to mull over during my blessed 3 days of me time.