Forty days came and went, O Lord. Heh, 40 just seems so Biblical.
I wasn't ready to contact Ginger, however. At day 40 and for a few days after, I asked myself, "Self? Are you ready to talk to him, build a friendship out of the rubble?"
Self kept being pissed off. So I decided to wait. I had the Houseguest here coming and going, with her sports and her apartment and job searches. I had to help miss pixi plan and get ready for another trip for her, to see some college buddies. She is SO social. She saw her camp friends at camp in late June. We saw her old high school hometown buddies in July. Now she is away on her own visiting college friends she hadn't seen in 4 years in another area of upstate NY. Also, today she should be at an ex bf's, visiting him and his husband. Their breakup was amicable, he is like a father figure to her now, being older (like me).
I am glad she went because I was not in a mood to be around people who are her good friends, but mere casual acquaintances of mine. We were also helping our friend Tom deal with his sudden separation and imminent divorce. Hard for me to dig deep and find ways to help him, when I was in a similar boat.
But! I did well with helping Houseguest. She found a really cute apartment about 15 miles away, she spent a couple days moving in, bought a bed, and slept there for the first time last night! And miss p is gone til Friday and I have 3 days to myself! Now can I finally make some real progress processing my grief? to be continued...
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37