Oh, I am way over-thinking it, and I know that. I am just having trouble changing focus and I'm stuck in A circle.
I poked at the needs not being met as a possible reason, but it didn't feel right.
The best fit I have found is that I need to be the center of things when it comes to our relationship. It has to be about me and in my control. J is in the relationship because it is what I need, not him. It felt like he was connecting more to her sexually and it bothered me.
It also made me feel physically insecure, although my rational mind knows she is not better than me, just different, there is a little voice whispering "what if she is?"
Now to resolve those thoughts/feelings...