Originally Posted by redpepper
two fold question....
1. Is there a tendency towards Newbies thinking that veterans should be more capable of over coming some of the major poly issues such as jealousy... etc.?
That, I don't know. Has anybody done any formal study of noobs to find out if that is a common expectation?
I think there are benefits to experience, certainly. My current marriage has benefited a great deal from what I learned in previous relationships, for example.
2. How do you feel about the word "leader" as far as veterans in the poly community go?
I expect it takes a great deal more than being veteran to be a leader. I know I've read material by long-time poly activists that leads me to not want them to represent me in any fashion, so I certainly don't consider them leaders of any sort, though I expect there are people who do look to them for leadership. I've also encountered veteran poly folk whom I wouldn't want giving relationship advice to anybody I value highly, as I expect their advice would do more harm than good.
So, as far as I'm concerned, "veteran" /= "leader" in any meaningful sense.